The Dark Side of Leadership

In today’s issue, I want to share the five most difficult parts of being a high-level leader and how to navigate those waters well so you can continue to grow yourself and those around you.

Being a leader is hard.

But you never hear about that part.

Much like the highlight reel of social media, when discussing leadership, everything tends to center around the ‘good stuff’: higher income, responsibility, accolades, authority, etc.

Don’t get me wrong.

Those things are part of the reward for taking on a leadership role but we’re kidding ourselves if we think they don’t come with some tradeoffs.

When you understand the darkest parts of being a leader, you can get out in front of them and use them to your advantage.

The responsibility is heavy.

Being a leader often means carrying a significant amount of responsibility for the success or failure of a team or organization.

It’s a lot of pressure to bear.

A lot of people want responsibility…until it’s time to deal with the weight of said responsibility.

Winston Churchill once said that “the price of greatness is responsibility.”

Yes, the responsibility of being a leader is very high. At the end of the day, the buck stops with you.

The trajectory of the company rests on your shoulders.

The growth of the people around you depends on you.

The provision of the families of those you lead will largely depend on how well you help develop your team.

But if we want to be great, that likely means we will have to take on an exorbitant amount of responsibility to get there.

Stress is high.

With that responsibility comes a high degree of stress.

As leaders, we must make difficult decisions, manage conflicts, and often work long hours to keep things running smoothly.

No one said this was easy.

In fact, I can almost guarantee you that leadership is anything but easy.

It’s stressful. The buck stops with you and if things aren’t moving in the right direction, you get to bear the brunt of that reality.

If you allow it to, though, the challenging and stress-filled moments can help you grow into the person you want to be. Nothing worth having has ever come easy and the better, more idealistic version of yourself is not an exception.

Leadership is lonely.

It’s lonely at the top. Leaders often have to make tough decisions on their own, in isolation and without a safety net.

This is one of the hardest realizations to arrive at when you become a leader. You’re the one coming up with all of the answers, dealing with all of the problems and all of it is often thankless (or at least it feels that way).

I’m sure you’ve heard a phrase I use often which says “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

That statement couldn’t be more true.

It’s crucial that you find other like-minded leaders that you can build relationships with to lean into when you feel isolated and alone.

Just because you’re in a position of leadership doesn’t mean you have to keep the alpha persona front and center. We all need help and the sooner we recognize it, the better.

There are lots of hard conversations.

Ever had to give constructive feedback to someone?

Even worse, have you ever had to fire someone?

I’ll tell you from experience…it sucks.

Leadership is chock full of really tough conversations and it’s way more emotionally taxing than we’re often willing to admit.

Not to mention, doing it well requires a very strong communicator.

The #1 tool you will ever build as a leader (whether in a business, ministry, as a leader in your house, or in your relationship with your kids, etc.) is your communication muscle.

If you’re a good communicator, things will be 1000x easier for you.

If you don’t invest the intentional time required to become a world-class communicator, you might find yourself up a creek without a paddle way sooner than later.

The risk of burnout is big.

The demands of leadership can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally.

As a leader, there is a massive need to take care of yourself to avoid burnout and maintain your effectiveness.

If you fail to take care of yourself, you will be hard-pressed to show up well for anyone around you.

Outside of that, when you do the things required to take care of yourself, you will find that you’re displaying the things required for personal growth to those you’re accountable to lead.

Want your team to have integrity?

Don’t break commitments. Show up on time. Do what you say you’re going to.

Do you want your children to have discipline?

Show them what it means to work out consistently, keep a clean home, or sacrifice something you’d rather do for something you need to do.

Want to have a great marriage?

Set the tone with how you show up in your relationship and lead with a servant-first attitude.

Before you can do any of this, though, make sure you’re doing the little things to take care of yourself.

Don’t forget to eat. Get a solid amount of sleep. Work out.

I know it sounds simple but speaking from first-hand experience, this is typically the first area to go.

Rest when needed. Rest and get back in the game.

TL;DR

1. The responsibility of being a leader is a lot. If you want to be great, you’ll step up to the plate to bear the responsibility.

2. Leadership is stressful. If you do it right, that stress can help you grow into the person you want to be.

3. As a leader, you will experience periods of loneliness. Build a community and find other leaders you trust who understand what you’re going through on a daily basis.

4. There will be a ton of hard conversations during your leadership tenure. Invest a ton of time into becoming a great communicator.

5. Do not let yourself burn out. Take care of yourself and remember to rest so you can show up well for those around you.

That’s all, folks. Keeping all of this at the forefront of our minds will help all of us to be the best leaders we could possibly be. See ya next weekend! ✌️