Leadership is not about you. It’s not a title. It’s not a plaque on an office door or a status on LinkedIn. True leadership is about service and making those around you better. And it’s not just for the business you run or the team under you on an org chart. If you’re a true leader, you focus on making everyone around you better. This includes your spouse, your children, friends, colleagues, random people at the grocery store, etc. Today, I’m going to walk you through how to show up as a leader with an attitude of servanthood.

One of the most important things to remember here is that ‘service’ is not directly correlated with doing everything for others. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When we do everything for those we are called to lead, we often do more harm than good.

After all, our main goal as a leader is to make those around us better and help them reach their goals and their full potential, right?

How could we possibly make others better if we never force them to take action on the things that will inspire growth, cause change, and unlock the parts of them they might not even be able to see?

Here are the top 4 things that a servant leader does on a regular basis:

Actively listen.

Most leaders miss the boat entirely on this point alone. You want to make sure that those you’re leading feel like they’re understood and that their feelings and perspectives are heard.

As human beings, we don’t always need to be right or have our idea be the one that moves forward, but we at least want to know that others are listening.

Pay attention. Make sure you’re fully focused and engaged. Pay attention. Eliminate any distractions and maintain eye contact. You’ll want to listen to their words, tone of voice, and nonverbal cues (body language).

Show interest. Stay engaged in the conversation and nod your head, make appropriate facial expressions, and respond with short affirmations like “I see” or “Uh-huh.” Those things may seem so minuscule but it will leave others feeling like we actually care to be having the discussion in the first place.

Clarify. If you’re unsure about something that was said, ask for clarification. Restate what you heard if needed and ask if you understood correctly. Communication is always the responsibility of the communicator. If you are unsure, seek clarity always.

Paraphrase. Paraphrase what the other people in the conversation in your own words to confirm that you understood the point(s) that were being made. This sends a message loud and clear that you’re actively listening and trying to understand their point of view.

Reflect feelings. This is a big one. You might often find yourself in a conversation where the other party seems mad or frustrated but often, they’re actually hurt or sad and the feeling being portrayed is anger. When you clarify, you’ll often be surprised that the emotion that’s coming out isn’t the one that is being felt. For example, if someone you’re speaking to seems frustrated, say something like “It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated.” That simple step will either confirm the feelings you assumed were true or will redirect the conversation toward the right path.

Respond appropriately. Respond in a way that shows you were listening and understand the message that you’re receiving. Be careful not to interrupt or dismiss what’s coming from the other person.

If you commit to using active listening, you can improve communication, build trust, depend your relationships with others, and ultimately, become a much better leader.

Empower and support.

This is where making others better comes in. Servant leaders aim to empower those around them to take ownership of their work, their decisions, their actions, and ultimately, their outcomes.

A good leader is actually a great coach. And it is NOT a coach’s job to get you a result. A coach exists to give others the proper resources, training, and guidance while encouraging them along the way, acknowledging accomplishments, and supporting them through challenges in the journey.

Effective leadership and coaching is about helping others stand on their own two feet and continuing to get better.

At the end of the day, we cannot force someone to go to the next level and why would you want to?

Lead by example.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the age-old phrase “Do as I say, not as I do.” I’m a firm believe that sentence is one that was invented by a lazy parent who knew what the right paths forward were but somewhere along the way decided it wasn’t for them. On the flip side of that coin, though, was a desire to relinquish any guilt of their children following in those same footsteps.

This is a dangerous mindset to have.

A true servant leader is one who sets the tone by modeling the values and behaviors that would be helpful to others.

This includes being transparent, accountable, open to feedback, demonstrating a commitment to serving others, choosing positivity, and . The list could go on for days.

I’ve always stood by the fact that I would never ask someone I’m responsible for leading to do something I wouldn’t do.

Foster a culture of collaboration.

It’s always about the team over self.

Prioritizing teamwork and collaboration over individual success is where the game is really played. Servant leaders encourage their ‘team’ to work together and leverage each other’s strengths and in turn, create a culture where everyone’s contributions are valued and respected.

This isn’t just true in the workplace. This is true within your family, small group, circle of friends, etc.

When people are committed to a goal bigger than themselves, you’ll find that there’s a sense of creativity and innovation. Communication is enhanced. Stronger relationships are formed.

We all have a strong desire for community and relationship.

As a leader, it’s our responsibility to create an environment where those two things are present.

That’s all for today, folks!

TL;DR

As a servant leader, make sure you are consistently doing the following:

1. Actively listening.

2. Empowering and supporting.

3. Leading from the front and setting an example.

4. Fostering collaboration and building the right culture.

4 super simple things to remember and if you do them consistently, you will find yourself being a much more effective leader & communicator.

Until next week ✌️